Five years
by Agent blue rose
Summary: A look into Lena's life after the fall of overwatch, and the struggles that came with the recall. more fluff inside than one would expect.
1. chapter 1

Overwatch had fallen.

Lena couldn't believe it at first

Lena didn't want to believe it.

But no matter what she wanted this much was true.

Overwatch was now illegal. One by one, Lena had to watch helplessly as her friends, her family, packed there things and left. Some with tight hugs and tearful goodbyes, others overnight without so much as a note.

Lena was the last to leave. Putting it off till the very last minute.

Winston got to stay, and Athena. It wasn't fair, she argued, why did they get to stay when Lena was getting reminders via email from the UN every other day to go to the nearest government facility where she'd be registered and tagged like some zoo animal?

(Because Winston technically owned this base no one wanted to tick off the giant primate by telling him to move.)

Lena was scared to leave. She didn't have anywhere else to go. She'd lived on-base ever since she'd joined overwatch, had always been right across from Winston, to chase away the lingering what-ifs that came with her chronal disassociation. Right across from her best friend who would be right at her side within minutes should Athena in all her vital-monitoring glory detect anything wrong.

Now, Lena would be alone. She'd tried to be chipper at first, mostly for the others sakes, but eventually, the shock wore off, right around the time she entered her small, quiet new apartment for the first time, and she cried.

The first month wasn't as much of a problem she would have thought. Wake up, go to work at a dingy little mechanic shop, fix cars a thousand times less interesting work on than Overwatch's fighter jets and massive cargo planes with glazed eyes, go home, eat microwave meals and take out alone, and go to sleep.

The second month Lena started hitting the bottle. Hard. Where the first month had been a blur of monotony, of painfull normality, the following months were nothing more than a haze of headaches, blackouts, throwing up and somehow still managing to fix the boring, simple cars everyday.

The more often Lena drank, the more resistant she became to the stuff, so Lena bought stronger stuff, and drank more of it. Anything to numb the pain.

But numbness turned to sadness which turned to depression. Hours were spent simply curled up in her bed sobbing because _goddamn_ did she miss it. Waking up to a rowdy kitchen with Angela fussing over how much coffee Jesse drank and Hana trying to sneak peanut butter from Winston instead of having to drag herself out of bed every morning to a cold, silent kitchen.

Ironically, silence was Lena's best friend now.

By the beginning of the second year the silence had started to cling to lena like a second skin. She rarely spoke anymore, didn't try to seak anyone out to chase away the loneliness. No one tried to seak her out either. The blue beacon on her chest tend to push people away. No one wanted anything to do with an ex-Overwatch agent.

Ex-Overwatch. There it was again. Every time the thought hit her so did a wave of sadness, suffocating her, drowning her in bitterness because it wasn't _fair_! Everything had been so amazing! The thrill of the fight, the pride at knowing she was doing so much good, the security of family.

It was all gone now. Ripped out from under her feet by the PETRAS Act. Sometimes Lena wondered if taking off her harness and letting herself get lost in the slipstream would hurt less.

The rain didn't help. Lena had traveled so much and so often that she'd forgotten how much it rained in London, had forgotten all about the clinging mist and ever present shroud of grey the city was cloaked in. Because of this it was always cold and Lena found herself longing for the warmth of Nadya: the egyptian base, more than once.

By now, the tan from the many hours in the sun missions had given her was long gone, leaving her looking as pale and drained as she felt.

By the third year Lena had abandoned the bottle in favor of late night prowls deap within the alleys of Kings Row. Punching the shit out of random skullheads and methed-out gangsters could never compare to the thrill of a deadly dance with widowmaker or the heartpounding midbattle rush of a raid against Talon, but it was something. Even if the comparison was achingly dull and watered out. With these faceless thugs, Lena didn't even need to try.

Sometimes Lena would wonder what Winston would say if he could see her now. This usually led to her falling back on the bottle, falling alsleep on her couch after crying with a framed picture of the entire team clutched at her chest.

(Sometimes Lena will compare the tiny version of her in the picture with her reflection and marvels dimly at the difference)

By the fourth year Lena still finds herself waking up on hazy Sunday mornings expecting to hear Athena greet her from the holo screen on her bedside table. Other times she notice a new scratch on her chronal accelerator and think about asking Winston if she should be worried only to remember with a jolt that she's not allowed to talk to Winston now and it just about breaks her.

The most memorable occasion Lena can recall is stumbling home, broken and bloody after a reckless fight against three skullheads at once, hand poised over Angela's number for a split second before remembering that there's no point and slamming her holopad down on the coffee table to go search for the first aid kit.

(Lena does her best not to imagine what Angela would think because it hurts almost as much as winston.)

By the beginning of the fifth year Lena gives up. She has spent all her tears and headaches and screams and all that's left is apathy.

Apathy, Lena finds out, is far better than sobbing into a bottle of whiskey. The days blead into each other and Lena goes through all the motions she knows by heart. Work, eat, sleep. Again, and again.

To drained to fight anymore, Lena spends her nights watching trash TV and falling asleep on the couch. By now Lena feels to far gone to care about the crick in her neck that follows.

The cold gets to her. A lot of things still get to her. Like the crushing weight of her accelerator. Sometime Lena will find that her hands have strayed to the straps and buckles of their own accord. She longs to take them off and fall into the abyss. Anything would be better than this cold, grey life.

But then Lena thinks of Winston and how upset he got everytime her accelerator broke and the way Angela would shudder and pinch the bridge of her nose whenever Lena came back from limbo and she decides to let her hands fall and orders takeout instead.

(Sometimes, Lena doesn't eat at all and crawls into her cold, sqeaky bed instead)

Sometimes, Lena will sit outside on cold park benches on less-cold days, watching the people go about their days and she'll wonder what it might've been like if their had been no overwatch at all.

Lena always ends up deciding she doesn't really want to know. Because the thought of having a perfectly happy, normal life oblivious to what she could have had hurts more to think about than she'll admit. Had anyone pointed out that a normal could have been better, could have spared her all the pain that led to her sitting out in the cold right now she probably would have punched them.

(Because the pain was worth it, wasn't it?)

Lena is in the middle of work when her holopad goes off. No one ever calls Lena so she wipes the grease of her hands and picks it up. She nearly drops it again though, when she sees the number.

It's Winston.

Several emotions run through her.

The strongest one is hope.

There are tears in her eyes as she answers the call. Winston is calling. Her best friend is calling and jesus _christ_ is she tired of being sad and alone!

"Winston? Is that you luv? It's been too long!"

(It really has.)

Within twenty four hours Lena is safely tucked away in her old room at headquarters. It wasn't very hard. She'd abstained from buying any material items over the years.

(The only thing she'd really wanted was her family back.)

Her accelerator is humming with a strength she hasn't felt in years (five years, in fact) and from the crack in the doorway she can hear the heavy footsteps and excited greetings of old friends who happened to be in the country.

Lena smiles, snuggling further in the faded blue blanket that smells like home and closes her eyes before Athena can make anymore comments about her blood pressure.

Angela will be doing much more than nag when she gets here and finds out just how bad Lena is at taking care of her self.

Winston isn't even a doctor and he knew just by looking at her. Athena's comments on her vitals hadn't helped her case that she was _fine_ really! And that she was just happy to be home.

Winston had only huffed and ushered her to her room because it was midnight anyways for _godsakes Lena!_

Lena could hear Winston outside now, shushing people because Lena had gotten here first, looking like crap and desperately needing a nap.

The last thing Lena heard before drifting off was the creak of the front door and Winston calling out Angela's name a tad nervously because he just _knew_ that the first thing the medic would be doing was a full checkup on everyone.

Lena smiled in her sleep.

It was warm wasn't it?


	2. In Time

Lena sleeps the next day away.

She can't seem to help herself. There had been times when she had drifted on the edges of the land of the waking, but then the scent of her old mattres, with it's little oil stains from flopping straight into bed without changing after a long day working on the planes, had pulled her back to sleep.

In the end it's a nightmare that forces her up at 7:30 PM.

It hasn't even been a proper nightmare. Not like the vivid horrors of the slipstream. It had been a blurry dream, the slightest tinge of London chill and a memory of a memory of the creaky old secondhand couch she'd spent so many nights on. Not even a proper nightmare, but it had been enough to send her lurching out of her bed, and face first onto the floor.

She is confused for a moment, as she looks around at her room. Her _old_ room.

Not a thing had changed. It was small, just her bed, the desk next to it, and a bookshelf on the wall across, little souvenirs and couple of old plane manuals stacked on the middle shelves, covered in a thick layer of dust because she hadn't had the heart to move them when the UN had forced her to pack her bags.

Lena pushes herself up to a sitting position, knees up to her chest, and stares silently as the dust motes float past, until her holopad lights up from her side table and Athena informs her withwith that calm voice of hers that her blood sugar is terribly low and recommends that she go to the kitchen and get some food.

A flicker of a smile twitches on her lips at the sound of the AI's voice and she pushes herself to stand.

"Sure thing luv." Her voice is quiet, just a tad raspy from the years spent using it so rarely (Christ it really had been years hadn't It?)

Lena leaves her room, not even bothering to change out of the ratty grey Pjs she'd brought with her from the apartment. Lena dimly recalls the furniture she'd left at the otherwise now-bare apartment and decides she'd like to pretend the horrible place didn't even exist.

(She can still feel the musty air and grey skies clinging to the edges of her mind)

As she makes her way down the hall she traces her fingertips along the walls, feeling every scratch and nick and is surprised to find that she still remembers where most of them came from.

There is a comforting murmer of idle chatter coming from the kitchen that fills her chest with warmth.

The moment she steps into the doorway however, the room goes silent. Lena takes the opportunity to see how many of the old gang had arrived while she slept.

Jesse, Jack, Hana, Fareeha, Angela, and Torbjorn, oddly enough.

Winston is there as well and joins in the other's staring, concern thick in their gazes. Lena cocks her head to the side.

"Do I...have somethin on my face?"

Lena winces at raspy her voice sounds and hopes that the others blame it on sleep. Angela's eye flicker though, and Lena wonders if she can tell how bad the last five years have been just by looking at her. The way her eyes linger on the faint scar just below her neck seem to promote her theory.

Winston saves her from the awkwardness after a moment though by shaking his head and handing her a plate loaded with so much green (and other various health foods) That she suspected Angela had prepared it.

(Or maybe it had to do with the way she resembled a skeleton)

Lena ate it anyways and grinned between every bite as the lull of conversation enveloped her.

Sometime during all this everyone positions at the cluttered old table with it's array of mismatched chairs had changed and where Lena had started out sitting on one end of the table alone she was now tucked firmly between Angela and Fareeha, with the blonde medic fussing gently over her messy locks and somehow managing to chide Jesse over his horrible eating habits at the same time while Jack and Torbjorn played a quiet game of cards and Winston talked with Hana about potential upgrades for her MECHA.

Despite the fact that she had already slept nearly 24 hours already, after a few hours the weary pilot found herself drifting off against Fareeha's side, not quite sleeping, but gone enough to let the conversation around her to slip through the air without holding any meaning in her ears.

"-so quiet-"

"...Checked the Scans Athena took of her yet Angela?..."

"...Too thin!"

"...said she was the first to arrive?"

"She was here less than 12 hours after my call, yes."

"...forgot how pale she used to be...when she first joined...freckles are faded!"

"She'll need a check up."

"getting late...need to move her?...are you sure?"

The sound of the door slamming snapped her out of her doze, though she remained still, the heavy limb of comfort to powerful to even think of shaking. No need to even open her eyes she decided. Not when staying tucked right here in Fareeha's warm side, inhaling the Egyptian's spicy scent was so much more appealing.

Yeah...

"FRIENDS, I HAVE ARRIVED TO-"

" **SSHH!!!"**

"Be _quiet_ zarya!"

"Yeah Lena's sleeping!"

Zarya?

An image of pink hair touched her memory along with a recollection of bone crushing hugs. Lena was glad to have decided to remain motionless. Getting her ribs crushed wasn't on her list of things to do right now.

"The little rabbit is resting? This is most surprising!"

There was a sigh. "She's been sleeping all day." That was Winston. He sounded stressed.

"I've been overlooking the vital scans Athena took of her when she arrived. It's a mess! What did she do?! Live off of take out?!"

Shit, whenever Angela got like that, her weird mix of worried and pissed, Lena knew she was screwed and thanked God that her current state was preventing the unofficial team mom from shredding into her then and there.

"It's nearly midnight. I'm going to put her to bed. Lena felt herself be moved. For someone so strong, Fareeha was surprisingly gentle with her, cradling Lena to her chest with careful hands, walking slowly so as not too jostle her.

"You should go to bed too, Hana."

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

"Because I said so! We've got a big day ahead of us. Now scoot." Heh, typical Jack, always looking out for the younger members. Even if they didn't want to be looked after.

"Ugh, fine! I'm going!"

Fareeha placed Lena in bed and ruffled her heir gently. Then she crossed the room and for a moment it seemed like she would shut the door, but then her hand left the door handle and she walked back to the kitchen.

Laying there in bed, Lena wondered why the others had been so concerned. The last five years had been rough yeah, but it was okay, because she was home now. That made things better didn't It?

Everything was okay now.

wasn't It?

The next day Angela pulls her out of bed at 8:30 and drags her sorry ass to the medical wing, where she spends the next several hours doing various tests and getting the pilot up to date on all her shots, all the while ranting loudly over the mess that is apparently Lena's insides right now. Once she's cooled down enough and she's handed Lena a huge-as-balls bottle of special vitamins and orders her to take two every dayday Angela finally ushers her out, muttering about a certain cowboy being next on her list (Lena would have felt sorry for Mccree if she wasn't so smug that she wasn't to only who had to suffer today.)

after escaping the medbay of doom she heads down the kitchen.

(which is starting to get a little crowded now that almost everyone is here, with the exception of Ana holding down the fort at the Egyptian base and Reindhart in the German one)

The 'mess hall' is full of hug and tears and how-have-you-beens and Lena happily lets herself get sucked into the whirlpool of joyful reunions.

Somewhere along the way hellos turn into eager catch ups and Lena listens with just a tinge of envy as the others babble about this and that. The people they'd met, sights they'd seen from a refreshingly non battle ready point of view.

No one seemed to have struggled the way Lena. Maybe it was because they all had lives outside of Overwatch. For Lena, Overwatch _was_ her life. She'd discarded Civilian life and connections for so long while everyone else had homes they stayed at over the holidays and friends they emailed and face timed after work.

Not that there was anything wrong with either lifestyle.

Sometime later Hana turned to Lena and asked her what she had been up to during those dreaded five years and the others turned to her eagerly. They all wanted to know what adventures, the energetic, mischievous Tracer had been up to.

Lena shrugged. "I worked as a Mechanic."

"And?" Hana asked impatiently.

Lena smirked "I ate a lot of takeout."

That got quite a few chuckles out of the group but Hana merely huffed.

"Come on Lena! You must have done something! Met some new people at least. Made some new friends!"

Lena shook her head and started to pick at her cuticles absently. "Not really no."

The laughter ceased. Tracer, bubbly, cheerfull Tracer who couldn't stand to go five minutes without talking to someone hadn't made any friends after Overwatch fell?

"No way!" Hana said firmly, "There's no way you didn't go out and make like, a zillion friends within minutes of hitting London!"

Lena frowned and tugged at a bit of skin at the corner of her thumb. " Not really no..." She tapped her chronal accelerator knowingly "Big ol clunky thing like this tends to scare people off actually."

Hana frowned deeper, but said nothing more to the ex RAF pilot. For this Lena was grateful, as the ghost chill that the memories of her time back at Kings Row brought had started to creep back.

Later that day Lena glimpsed out the window of one of the upper floors while cradling a cup of tea. It was grey and foggy outside. Of course it was, this was the England base after all, located just a few miles away from London, in a small town. It was only natural that it would be dark and foggy out.

That didn't stop Lena from dropping her mug.

That night the comfort of her old room wasn't enough, so she crept into the living room and curled up on the soft leather couch. Lena fell asleep watching trash TV and awoke with a crick in her neck and a bad taste her mouth that wasn't from the chalky vitamins Angela had given her.

Lena turned the TV off and sat motionless on the couch for several minutes before creeping back to her room, thanking her lucky stars that no one else was up yet.

No, things weren't okay.

"Goddammit Jesse I swear if you don't put that coffee down _right Now!!!-"_

Lena smiled softly.

But they would be.

Because she was home.

 ** _sssssssssssssssss_**

 ** _Yeah, okay, I know this only supposed to be a one shot but I had this idea and now, well...I guess this is just gonna be my dumping grounds for what ever angsty Lena-centric shit I come up with, because I'm a sick person. like that._** ** _Love ya_** ** _-Blue_**


	3. moving day

"We're leaving? already luvs?"

Lena really shouldn't be complaining. She had spent enough time in london to make up for the rest of her life!

"We don't really have a choice, lena. There are too many recruits, new and old. We need more space."

Her mind flashed back to her room. Her bed, her beautiful, oil stained bed with soft, worn blankets and a single dusty bookshelf containing everything she owned, sans a few pairs of clothes, which she kept in her battered old suitcase under the bed, because she really didn't own enough of...anything really nowadays to warrent a closet or a dresser.

Her room was probably too small for either of those things really, as it was little more than a shoebox.

But it was her shoe box...And it was small enough to conserve heat, and it smelled like home and there were no windows to worry about accidentally glimpsing at the chilly england fog outside because holy fuck was she done with this stupid, cold-

"Our new headquarters will be the Egyptian base, Aethra."

Any and all complaints about moving came to a screeching halt.

Egypt. Egypt!

Egypt was bright, and sunny, and Warm. Nothing like london. The opposite of Kings Row and god did lena need that right now.

Lena's scowl turned did a complete 360 into a grin at that, and it must have startled the other's, because of the way they stared.

Lena couldn't be bothered, too wrapped up in the thought of seeing Ana, sunlight, and getting as far away from her home country as possible. She didn't hate London, just the memories she had of it.

She just needed a little distance from England, that's all. Give it a few years and she'd probably be dying to visit her city once more.

The others continued chatting on about the moving plans. Lena, as she was prone to do nowadays, remained silent. Even if she did have much to say, she doubted she'd have the energy to say it. Not after all the time She'd spent nearly mute, rarely using her voice except to scream and sob and throw her life away, down down to the bottom of a bottle and scattered take out boxes...

Lena shook her head roughly and picked at her food. Meetings were rather informal these days. Just a group of them all sitting around the dinner table discussing plans over warm food, usually prepared by Angela with the help of Lena, who was more than willing to do just about anything to keep busy, and sometimes genji, who believed in "the fulfillment of self worth through fruitful communal activities" or some kind of Buddhist sounding inner peace crap.

Lena thought she almost might have preferred the cyborg when he was younger and angrier. At least he didn't say random shit that didn't make any sense!

Ugh. Her head hurt. And she was tired. Then again, lena was alway tired.

Probably because she had been sleeping less and working more, getting maybe four or five hours of sleep on a good day before flinging herself out of bed as though it had burned her and drilling through any and all odd jobs that were available around the base to keep busy, seeing as missions were sort of a no go until operations were actually settled and organized into something comprehensible, that actually stood a chance of working under the rader of the UN.

Lena cleaned, trained, helped cook, fetched supplies for winston...anything that needed to be done, she did it.

(The training was harder than she expected it to be. She used to ace these exercises with her eyes closed, now she finds herself hopelessly out of breath. So she trains harder, and longer. Mostly at night when she's supposed to be sleeping)

Now she supposed helping everyone pack would be added to the list. That was fine. Anything other than laying in bed, wasting all the time on sleep, was bloody fantastic!

Her thoughts were interrupted by Angela's insistent prodding that she eat something. A twice daily event that was becoming more and more common as the days went by.

Lena did not argue outright, but continued to poke at her food, nibbling a bit here and there.

English food was decent enough, especially with the cultural twists each member tended to add, depending who was on kitchen duty for the night, Mostly Angela, fareeha, and Jack, as they had the most cooking experience, but with Genji and Lena as acting assistants, there were often a few reoccurring dishes here and there.

Tonight was Fareeha's turn to cook and the delicious, spice loaded and flaverful moracan dish, inspired by a similar meal the solder had tried during one of her security jobs really should have been more appetizing, but lena just couldn't seem to muster up the energy to finish off more than a few bites before dropping her fork altogether and focusing on at least finishing off her water.

"-Need to get anything from your flat Lena?"

Lena nearly choked at that. Her veins seemed to turn to ice and she could swear the temperature dropped several degrees.

"What?"

Winston gave her an exasperated look.

"Your flat, Lena, in Kings row. I would like you to go with angela tomorrow to make sure you have everything you need from there. We're going to be in Egypt for quite some time after all."

(And thank god for that)

"Uh, that's no...not really necessary luv, I've got everything, trust me."

Angela rolls her eyes at that and Fareeha just stares at her disbelievingly. The Tracer they knew could never be relied on for her organizational skills after all. She had always been forgetting one thing or another. Thankfully never anything important, but more than a few shirts, socks, books and once, her toothbrush, had been lost during moves from one base to another.

But these days were different. Now Lena wasn't less prone to forget things so much as, she didn't have enough things to forget. Her mind went back to the black suitcase under her bed and how, when neatly folded, the entirety of her wardrobe fit inside with room to spare.

"We're going tomorrow. I don't care what you think, you've barely brought any of your things to the Watchpoint in your haste to answer the recall!"

(If only they knew just how miserable Kings Row had been. Would they know once they saw her flat?)

Suddenly her thoughts went her cold, grey shoebox of an apartment and the portrait of the old gang that still sat next to her sqeaky old couch and suddenly going back didn't seem quite so bad.

That didn't stop Lena from making the rest of the day last as long as possible, even going so far as challenge the gang to a few rounds of Uno, which somehow (as it often did these days, for some reason lena couldn't fathom) led to Lena being tucked between to Angela and Fareeha (she could have sworn she'd been next to winston and Hannah just a few minutes ago) who, being the mother hens that they are, were more than happy to use their evil powers on her to make her drowsy.

Evil things like being tucked into an old sweater of fareeha's on the excuse that it was getting cold (Lena would rather be burning alive than the slightest bit chilled and she thinks maybe the the team is starting to catch on.) and then tucked into Angela's side, where she seemed to fit perfectly because she was just so goddamn short and that made all too easy for just about anyone short of Torbjorn or hannah to tuck her under their arm and press her against their chest.

(and the sweater must have a magic all it's own purely in the way it enveloped her like a large blanket being draped around her)

Like Angela was doing right now. As though Lena was a child being coddled by her mothers. Really she should be offended but the PETRAS act had stripped away most of her pride fairly well and Angela kinda smelled like vanilla in a way that mixed very well with the spicy scent of Fareeha that lingered on the borrowed sweater.

Honestly, why was it that she always ended up between these two irritatingly effective mother hens? She could almost swear they were doing it on purpose...

They're all playing in teams of two now, which is fine with Lena because Angela is her partner and she is a fairly good player. That, and Lena is finding it very hard to keep her eyes open and her mind focused on the game, though she manages three whole rounds before she starts to slip entirely.

As it often does during these late night gatherings, the words slip right into one ear and out the other, as she begins to drift off.

"Hmmpf. The little rabbit is finally sleeping..."

"...surprise me...worried about her...thought she was making progress but..."

"Wish she'd do...bounce back like she used to...isn't the same...endless chattering."

"Ugh!...probably fine...know Lena...always bouces back!"

"...Damn PETRAS act!...looked so scared when she thought no one was looking...think she's even lived on her own since she got accepted into the RAF..."

"We should've pressed harder for continued contact with each other...could've gone in groups...least checked on...called dammit!"

"She's not a child Angela...keep treating her like...lose her independence altogether...can't rely on us...might not be here someday."

"Wow, Jack! No need to be so optimistic!"

"-Little rabbit looks quite frayed...working too hard for someone so small...not built for heavy lifting and yet she insists!"

"Getting thinner...wish i could get her to eat just a bit more!"

"-blame it on fatigue. She is attempting... jump right back into a lifestyle she has not practiced...five years."

Lena senses herself being shifted slightly into a more comfortable position and someone cards their fingers through her hair.

"-seemed excited about Aethra at least"

"Maybe a change in scenery will be good for her."

"...goddamn pale...looks wrong on her...sooner we get her out in the sun, the better."

"...My mother will be more than happy...return to a healthy weight within weeks...not even in her current state could she refuse her cooking...adores her too much for that."

"Remember...worlds best grandma mug Lena got her that year?"

A round of jovial laughter, loud enough in the small dining room/meeting hall was enough to startle Lena awake.

Her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head from where she had been leaning against...Zarya? The hell?!

Lena looked around. She was clear on the other side of the table now, a nearly passed out Hannah having taken her place next to Angela and the clock reading well passed midnight.

Lena blinked, bewildered.

Had she been...passed around while she was (half) asleep?

The others looked like an entire herd of deer caught in headlights. Even Genji managed to look startled and he was still wearing his visor!

Zarya however, looked completely calm (a rarity with the loud russian) and merely crossed her arms, staring Lena straight in the eye, as though challenging her to say anything about her team's apparent habbit of treating her like a toddler. everyone seemed to want to hold whenever she was unconscious.

"You fell alseep, little rabbit."

Lena rubbed the grit put of the corners of her eyes and yawned just a bit.

"I can see that."

Somehow she doesn't think the others failed to miss her displeasure at having having fallen alseep. Lena wasn't sure what to think about that. She felt rather justified in her insomniac tendancies. There just weren't enough hours in the day!

Just then, a bout of dizzyness struck her, a reminder that she was, in fact currently surviving off of a glass of water and three bites of chicken and green beans.

As if she could read minds, Angela stood and made her way to the fridge, coming back in a minute with Lena's leftovers from dinner, surprisingly only a little cold.

"You should try and eat more before you retire properly for the night Lena." Angela prompted her gently, eyes pleading in such a maternal way that the time traveler couldn't help but give in. She took the plate with an almost grate full sigh before plopping back down, this time a little closer to winston, so that she could chat with him about possible improvements and repairs to made to what few aircrafts they had left in the hangar. Yet another project occupying her busy days. (and nights)

sssssssssssssssssssss

Lena never did finish her meal, though she did manage to get a good half of it down.

She couldn't remember going to bed for the remainder of the night either, but she still woke up that morning in her bed, an extra blanket (suspiciously resembling one of the soft knit ones Winston usually kept in the little makeshift nest he slept in ) draped over her that smelled of peanut butter.

But the moment she was up, Angela was bursting into her room, a couple of collapsed moving boxes tucked under an arm, pushing her to get dressed, that everyone needed to be ready to leave tonight.

Lena had only yawned in response, tugging an old RAF shirt over her head and pulling on a pair of jeans before hefting her accelerator off of its charger next to her bed, making to secure it over her chest before pausing and putting on a loose black vest over her shirt to help with the chafing and indents in her skin the heavy thing usually left when she put it up to charge every night.

Lena met back up with Angela in the hallway outside her room and the two made their way the the Garage/Hangar. They grabbed the keys to Lena's old, beat up car (She hadn't taken care of the thing nearly as well as the beautiful jets and planes in the hanger sections of the Garage, though there where only three of them now, at least in this base) and got going, Angela insisting that she drive, but giving no explanation other than shoving her friend towards the passenger side.

The ride back to London was a quiet one, taking a better part of the day, and when they finally arrrived the sun was high in the sky, just barely filtering through the clouds that obscured the sky from view.

Angela made to steer towards the neighborhood Lena had lived in before she'd joined the RAF. A pleasant, cozy neighborhood where Lena had lived with her parents before they'd died, leaving her the deeds, but no interest in the bittersweet memories the place tinted her vision with.

Lena directed Angela away from the place, who for her part frowned but merely nodded and followed Lena's directions, the frown on her face deepening as her close friend led her to to the grimy, rundown parts of King's Row.

The ramshackle apartments coated in pealing, faded and chipped graffiti, boarded up windows and grey concrete missing whole sections.

This was where Lena had lived for five years.

As they made their way up the steps of a particularly rundown looking complex a gaunt looking man slouched next to a pile of old, half-rotting crates, leered at them, smoke billowing out of his mouth, tainting the place with the scent of cigarettes.

Angela shivered internally and pulled her black hoodie just a little further over her head. Lena however, seemed far to used to the jaded environment (five whole years! Angela couldn't help the little twist in her chest at the thought) and merely forced the cracked, ill fitting door to her complex open and guided Angela up a set of creaky old stairs before stopping in front of a door with peeling white door with a bad dent in the handle and what looked suspiciously like blood staining it.

Lena closed her eyes for a moment before exhaling harshly and twisting the handling and holding it in place while ramming her shoulder into the door to force it open.

What angela saw inside was...hell. at least for someone like Lena.

It was a baren shoebox of an apartment. a bucket sat in the middle of the floor where water was leaking from the ceiling, an old folding table was set up in the corner of the place along with a single chair. a few feet away was a sink with a drippy tap and a baren fridge with a single picture of a younger, grinning Lena sitting somewhere sunny wedged between Zarya and Reindhart who were having an only somewhat exaggerated flex-off while Hana and Jessie cheered in the background along with Fareeha who seemed to be mid eyeroll.

Further into the room was a badly patched up couch with stuffing peeking out of the cushions that were molded in a way that suggested many nights had been spent sleeping curled up on the ragged thing rather than her actual bed.

there was a small bathroon as well, with a grimy mirror and a crappy shower that Lena told her with what she probably thought was a joking tone was always freezing as tits. Lena led her into a tiny room off to the side containing nothing more than a bed, a side table and a dresser with a few odds and ends on it.

Lena knelt down beside the bed for a moment and pulled a worn duffle bag with an RAF logo on it, as were many of Lena's things, and what didn't was usually Overwatch supplied instead. Angela couldn't help but wonder now, as lena pulled open the lowest drawer on her dresser and began pulling out a couple of well worn, somewhat threadbare clothing littered in oil stains, if there had ever been a time when Lena's life hadn't revolved around flying or fighting for what was right.

(Seeing how easily Lena had fallen apart without either in her life, Angela wondered if that was even a good thing)

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Angela unfolded the box she'd brought, understanding now why lena had thought she only needed to bring one, and herself with gathering the odds and ends from what would now be Lena's former flat.

there really wasn't that much, a few half used notebooks cantaining a few charts and stats for old cars, a chipped blue mug, an old mason jar only a quarter filled with spare change, and a handful of old newspaper clippings pertaining to either potential news on talon or overwatch or both.

(At least she also found a first aid kit under the rickety old coffee table, but the amount of supplies missing and the wear it had sustained worried her just as much as the bloodstains on the door handle had.)

The box was still disturbingly light when she was done as did Lena's duffle bag which she slung over a shoulder carelessly, not so subtly attempting to lead Angela to the door, an unspoken request Angela was happy to comply with.

"Let's go." Angela gave her younger companion a small smile "This place reeks, clearly the other tenants have an alcohol problem."

It was meant to be a joke, but something tightened in Lena's eyes and she looked away from the blond and her hands shook slightly as she forced the door open.

Oh...Oh. The realization twisted unpleasantly at the base of Angela's stomach, the sharp medical voice at the back of her head was fussing over the damage that must have been done to her liver and shit how did she miss that?!

Out loud however, the doctor said nothing and made her way back down the rickety staircase.

Lena stayed just a few steps ahead of angela, head down and walls up.

Briefly, Angela remembered when Lena had first come back from the slipstream, quiet and wary, still staggering slightly under the weight of her harness.

Conversation with the brit had been a hard thing to achieve, noise had to be made before you entered a room with her or you risked her startling so badly she glitched to the other side of the room and ended up hitting her head on something.

she'd had such a dead look in her eyes, even on the rare occasions that she laughed. She barely ate and slept even less. And it had taken months before Lena had cracked enough to admit that, though she couldn't say exactly what had happened in Limbo, she was willing to admit that it terrified her. Alternate timelines, wars centuries past, horrors and secrets hidden in the universe so complex and incomprehensible to the human mind that it had hurt physically to discover.

Wost of all, Lena had told her in a hoarse voice one day, during her monthly checkup, was the silence.

The way Lena had described the quiet of the void had been quite dramatic, but the edge in the pilot's eyes had her believing every word. That quiet could be physically suffocating, that it could hurst your ears worse than sound could, that silence could turn your own mind against you...

Angela thanked every diety she had ever heard of a thousand times over every night for weeks on end that Lena had found the strength to confess what had been eating away at her after her return to her proper plane of existence. It hadn't been until she opened up that Angela had been able to diagnose Lena's best treatment for recovery as constant social and audial stimulus, and explain to the others that what Lena needed was company rather than space.

now though, Lena had been forced back into at least partial isolation. She had conditioned herself to shy away from people, and Angela feared she might be facing the beginnings of a downward spiral far worse than even the aftermath of the slipstream, if someone didn't do something.

Once Lena's things were tossed into the back of the car and the two piled into the front seats, Angela insisting she drive once more, as it was a long trip back to base and the sun was starting to go down and 'really Lena your driving is so slow it ought to be illegal! you don't need act like you're caught up in a packed freeway when you're out in the country when no one else is driving!'

(Perhaps it was a bit harsh but for a skilled pilot with speed records broken in the air Lena's driving really was horrendously slow)

And besides, for as long as Angela had known her time hopping friend, Lena had been a notorious sucker for falling asleep on car rides, something about the sound and the gentle heat from the sun streaming through the window that often had her knocked out within minutes.

Had Lena not been so tense the first leg of the trip, she probably would have gotten some sleep then, but she had sat rigid in her seat and eyes focused out the window the entire trip. Now they were done and Lena seemed much more relaxed, sagging into the seat and using the seatbelt as a cradle for her cheek.

Lena didn't drift off, however, as the sun was quickly setting and both were aware of how close they were cutting it to moving time. Not doubt the others were piling their things into the cargo plane they would be using to leave for egypt at the very moment.

It was imperative they leave tonight, god knows after Talon's little attempted raid that had caused the recall in the first place, more agents would be flooding in soon, or the law might be tipped off on their location. No digital copies of their plans to leave the UK base were made. Any and all devices with speakers or cameras had been cleared from the room when they had made the arrangements.

Only a four messeges, done in a special code had been sent between Winston and Ana to finalize the moving plans.

Best not to have sombra on their tail after all.

In the end, when they finally arrived at the base, they had ten minutes to moving time, and everyone was milling about, double checking supplies, making last minute runs back to their bunkers for possessions they may have almost left behind.

The moment Angela and Lena stepped out of the car Reindhart was upon them with a cheerfull bellow that had Lena, who Angela noticed was swaying slightly with exhaustion, jumping nearly a foot in the air, blinking warily, as if just now noticing the chaos around them.

"Ah! Friends! You have returned!"

Angela winced slightly at Reindhart's tone.

"Yes, reindhart, but I'm afraid we don't have time for greetings, we're running short on time and Lena and I still haven't-"

Reindhart barked out a laugh, effectively cutting the doctor off.

"Not to worry good doctor! Your's and miss Oxton's possessions and equipment have already been moved onto the plane, Winston and myself saw to it the moment miss Amari observed that the pair of you would most likely not have enough time to do it yourselves."

Angela's shoulders sagged visibly with relief at the thought of not having to do any extra last minute scrambling. She doubted she could have gotten much done anyways, with Lena trailing after her in such a half-lucid state as it was.

A warning bell sounded out and Athena's voice could be heard through the intercom, warning everyone to start getting strapped in.

Angela grabbed her tired friend's wrist with the intention of guiding her to the safety of the plane, and hopefully letting her get some much needed rest after the emotionally draining day they'd had, but Lena, it seemed, had other ideas, as she only got a few feet before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she went careening forward.

"Lena!" Angela jerked toward her friend, her heart stopping and something in her stomach lurching as she realized that if Lena hit the ground she would land directly on her chronal accelerator and force the air out of her lungs.

In her panic, Angela missed, but luckily Reindhart was still with them and he caught the young brit with ease, adjusting her so that the massive warrior was carrying her in one arm bridle style, using the other to motion to Angela that he would guide her up to the plane, using his impressive form to clear a path that weary doctor could follow with having to worry about being pushed and shoved through a crowd.

In the end, the trio made it onto the plane without much incident, Angela dropping off Lena's things in the cargo hold with everyone else's possessions, and made her way to the passenger area where she was intercepted by a worried Jack and Fareeha, demanding to know where Lena was, afraid that the brit had been lost in the discord.

Angela merely shook her head and waved to get the attention of reindhart, who turned to reveal Lena still safe in the crook of his arm, head lolling somewhat comically.

There was some concern over this, But Angela had assured everyone that Lena just needed some rest and she would be fine by the time they arrived in Egypt.

"It's probably for the best" Angela explained once she got Lena buckled into a seat next to Winston, who let his younger friend snuggle unconsciously into the warm fur of his arm without comment.

"She needs to get back to staying alart for at least twelve hours straight if she wants to be cleared for combat again."

Angela placed herself on the other side of Lena and motioned for Fareeha to sit next to her while Jack, Zarya and mcree sat across from them. The way the seats in this plane were arranged was somewhat strange, but it was one of Lena's designs, and though the brit had her quirks, there was no denying that the café booth styled seating definitely made a long flights more comfortable.

This plane wasn't one used for missions anyways. so really, what was the harm in making it comfortable? Not like it was fancy, just, easier to ride in without getting a crick in your neck or dwelling in awkward silence if your friend was several rows down. At the very least, it was easier to talk to multiple colleagues at a time when up to six people at a time could sit in the booth styled seating in the back, with ordinary aisles towards the front for the less socially inclined.

Not as big a setup as it sounded, but there wasn't exactly many of them to begin with. Not anymore...

Angela shook away from these thoughts and spared a glance at Lena. She was so pale, and skinny. And there wasn't even lean muscle holding her together at this point. For someone whose skillset involved running, agility, and a speedy metabolism, this was very bad.

"I'm glad we're taking her to Egypt." Jack spoke up, quietly, so as not to wake Lena. "She needs to get some color back into her face, and Lena's always liked Ana and vice versa."

"that is because Lena makes herself an easy target for my mother's coddling, and does not complain about the copious amounts of spice in her cooking like most of the cowards here." Fareeha spoke dryly, a wry grin on her face at the memory of Lena digging into some spicy dish Ana had prepared without so much as a complaint, her face going red from the heat, but never once commenting on anything more than the fantastic quality of the meal. No doubt her mother would be thrilled to be the one to put the meat back on Lena's bones.

"In any case, Ana is wise, she may yet have a solution as to how to keep Lena from retreating any further into herself. Isolation from her family upon the conditions of the PETRAS act has not done her any favors for her health."

"So you've noticed too." Angela murmured. "Ever since the slipstream, her best coping mechanism has been social stimulation, she's so reliant on just not being alone, not being trapped in the silence..."

"And that got ripped away from her the moment she was forced to move back to London." Jack heaved a sigh. He had been the one to recruit Lena Oxton for Overwatch all those years ago. She hadn't been quite as excitable as she would later be known for as Tracer, but she had been full of curiosity and energy nonetheless. When Jack had seen her again over Winston had fished her out from limbo,well, the difference was disconcerting to say the least.

"Little Rabbit has a strong spirit, she will recover." Zarya's words had no particular fanfare to them, but they were spoken with such an iron solid certainty that the others could not help but relax slightly at hearing them. Of course Lena would recover. She was not made of glass, she had drifted through of veil of time and space and survived. This struggle Lena was fighting was one they had seen before and dammit if they didn't at least have experience and Ana on their side this time.

Especially Ana. What they would have given to have had the woman's insight the first time around, but alas the sniper had still been believed to be dead at the time and, well, it wouldn't be another year until she revealed herself as back from the dead.

There had been much yelling and gunfire and slamming doors involved in that particular incident, but in the end, Fareeha reconciled with her mother, Ana unofficially adopted Hana and Lena as the youngest members on the team, Genji and Mcree got hugs for old times sake, and jack got his old sparring partner back. (he still looses nearly every round)

"In any case," Winston spoke in a gruff voice "It will getting the hell out of england that helps her the most. Wasn't too fond of the location myself to be honest. There's never enough sun."

"Can you imagine what Lena must have looked like when she was little?" Fareeha mused, mouth quirking up at the corners at the thought. "We know she didn't get any sun until we recruited her, she must have practically looked like a porcelain doll!"

Angela hummed at that, a small smile escaping her. "She did. I've seen the pictures. She was adorable with long hair and this little pair of orange and yellow rainboots she apparently insisted on wearing everywhere, no matter the occasion."

That got a few chuckles out of the group and a shake of the head from Jack. "I can't see Lena with long hair." He admitted.

"Doesn't seem to suit her." Winston agreed, glancing down at the pilot clinging to his fur, cheek smushed against his arm and, to his displeasure, the beginnings of a trickle of drool at the corner of her mouth.

They lapsed into silence for some time after that, occasionally making small talk over more work related topics and a few plans for future missions and talk of possible supply runs.

When they finally arrived in Egypt Lena was still asleep and had to be carried, this time by Zarya, who insisted somewhat childishly that she have a turn with the little rabbit.

Lena stirred briefly however, when Angela stopped the group by the cargo hold for her medical bag and proceeded to pull out a tube of sunscreen and smear it over every inch of bare skin she could access, Muttering all the while about how pale Lena was, amd how she was certain the brit would be fried crisp no matter how much sunscreen she applied.

And god, was Lena pale. They'd known this of course, but in the artificial light of the base, and the dull gloom of England, the effect had been dulled.

The moment they stepped out into the blinding Egyptian sunlight however, Lena's skin appeared so pale it seemed to glow, a far cry from the fair tan and spotty freckles she used to sport so well.

It did not escape anyone's notice however, that the moment the blazing heat of the desert hit her, Lena's eyes fluttered and she breathed a sigh of contentment, angling her face so that she was soaking up as much sunlight as possible.

Ana was waiting for them at the entrance of the base, motioning for her men to go and help 'unpack' so to speak, before rushing towards thethe group of teammates that she very much considered a family.

Hugs were exchanged, and somewhere during the enthusiastic greetings, Lena stirred and Zarya allowed her to slide out of her grip and onto her feet.

Ana was upon her within moments, cooing a number of warm affections in Egyptian and Arabic. It was no secret that Lena was very much a favorite of Ana's, second only to Fareeha.

"Lena, _nunu,_ I've missed you so much!" Ana cried, pulling the small brit into a fierce hug before holding her by the shoulders, taking in every inch of her appearance with a sharp eye.

"By god! You're so pale _Saghir!_ " And much too skinny!"

Lena frowned and attempted to blink the tiredness out of her eyes.

"Ah-na?" Lena's voice was rough from sleep and she was more than a little disoriented but she leaned into the motherly woman's touch anyways, finding comfort in Ana's strong, callused hands.

Something in the snipers gaze softened and she pulled the pilot in for one last hug.

"Oh, you've had along trip Come! I'll make you something to eat.

And just as Angela and the other's had been hoping, at the mention of Ana's cooking, Lena perked up with an apparent desire to eat that the other's had been struggling to coax into her for days, nearly weeks now.

Thank god for Ana.

Two hours and everyone sat down for a round of ridiculously spicy dishes that were nearly impossible to pronounce and even harder to choke down without at least three glasses of milf and some ice water. (to their horror, Ana, Fareeha and Lena made a point to add even more diced, dried peppers of a deadly sort to their meal)

During the meal, Lena seemed to have gained more energy than she'd had in ages. She was still a far cry from her usual self, but she ate nearly all of her meal and listened attentively to Ana as she regaled the group with some of her adventures as a vigilante during the PETRAS act.

All too soon however, Lena began to nod off, and Ana promptly ordered her daughter to show her to her room ("It's just across from your own _hubibi_ you know the way.")

Ana was strangely quiet the moment Fareeha left the room along with Lena. The sniper had a calm, knowing look in her eyes that made them all feel vaguely threatened as she gathered up the plates and took them all away to the kitchen.

A nice thing about they Egyptian base was that the quarters for the original team-the _family-_ were separate from the rest of the barracks. set up almost in the configuration of a large house, just, with a war room (as Hana liked to call it) instead of a living room, and weapons stashed under the kitchen cabinets. (and just about anywhere else.

Not everyone was there, most of the time Angela preferred to stay in the quarters linked to the medical ward and labs alongside Mei, Winston, and the other scientists, Zarya and Reindhart were more than happy to hunker down in the barracks with their 'fellow warriors' and Torbjorn practically lived in his workshop, But Hana, Lena, Fareeha, and Jack often stayed in these private quarters at the insistence of Ana, who was determined to keep what was left of her family close to her.

"So," Ana spoke up once Fareeha had rejoined them "I take it Lena didn't get a lot of phone calls after Overwatch fell?"

 **sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss** **Aaand...im just gonna leave that here, Nearly 7k words for this whew! I kinda like how it turned out tho. Contructive criticism however is always appreciated, maybe even a few well worded hate notes, whatever, just leave your thoughts down in the comments and i always check them once or twice every week or so when i can**

 **thank you and good night!**

 **-Blue**


	4. Heartsick

Lena had never been one for taking it slow. Not when time was such a tricky thing. There was never enough of it to risk wasting

So the very next day, Lena flung herself into work around the base with reckless abandon.

Angela, suffice to say, was more than a little frustrated.

After receiving a strict talking to from Ana, chastising them all for not looking after each other when Overwatch fell, the others promised both Ana and themselves that never again would they turn the other way at another's suffering, regardless of whatever laws stood in their way.

There were so few of them left now, their operations so greatly diminished that they couldn't afford to leave anyone in the dust.

So, when Lena got up the next morning, unnervingly bright eyed and bushy tailed, rearing to take on the world (or at the very least, Egypt.) Ana, the blessing of a woman that she was, had promptly stopped the young brit in her tracks and led her to the kitchens instead, making a small, but hearty meal (swimming tabasco sauce, to the horror of many witnesses) and watching sternly, but gently as she ate the entire plate, before passing her off to Angela who slathered her in sunscreen and tucked a protective shawl over her head, before giving her free reign to terrorize the base.

With the newfound energy and cheer of a small child, (to the relief of many who had missed seeing the joy on the face of their little pilot) Lena zipped around the compound, rediscovering every last nook and cranny and basking in the blistering heat of Egypt, a waterbottle at hand as per Angela's demands.

The base was busiest just before dawn and right after sunset, the blazing heat making motivation to work a difficult thing for most recruits. High on her newfound freedom and the warmth soaking into her bones, lena was all too happy to help pick up the slack.

For a few hours lena helped move supply crates, picked and tinkered away at a hoverbike with sand jammed in its filters, and even took to the training ring with a few rookies for a couple quick rounds of sparring.

That last one didn't go as well as Lena had hoped.

Approaching the youths had been easy enough. dressed in a lightweight white tunic and tan yoga pants to keep from becoming overheated Lena certainly didn't look much like the iconic Tracer everyone knew instinctively by the large glowing harness and telltale aviator getup. Take that and add the fact that her chronal core's glow was barely noticeable underneath her tunic due to the bright sun and her deathly pale complexion, to the rookies, Lena looked more like a fragile technician than the famous pilot who had served as the poster child for overwatch all those years ago.

But the rookies were restless and irritable from the heat and were happy enough comply when lena stubbornly pushed for a few rounds of sparring. What harm could it do, really?

But Lena, who despite her constant punishment to her body in late night training sessions she still had a long ways to go before she was anywhere near her old strength and stamina and thirty minutes later found Lena stumbling away from the ring feeling bruised all over and nursing her jaw delicately. The tall, wide eyed brunette Ana must have picked up from Australia judging by her accent was trailing a few feet behind with her companions, offering numerous apologies for landing the hit and offers to get Dr. Ziegler while her friends barrated her for not going easy on the "Shrimpy techy".

And if that didn't bruise the bloody fuck out Lena's pride then who knows what would.

Lena finally managed to shake the rookies with false promises that she could find the medbay just fine on her own, and reassurances that she held no ill will towards the surprisingly softhearted Aussie.

(Lena made a mental note to track down the kid later. Something told her that girl was gonna go places with that heart of hers)

Taking a sip from her water bottle, Lena walked at the edges of the base's barrier, eyeing possible exits thoughtfully.

There was a village a couple of miles away from the base, in the shadow of a trio of pyramids who's shadows eclipsed the town near sunset every night.

Lena had fond memories of the place, though it's name always escaped her. She toyed with the idea of visiting but knowing the others they'd most likely insist on making the treck with her, calling a great deal of attention to themselves that was very much unwanted and likely putting the base at risk.

(once upon a time the thrill of a risky situation would have made her absolutely giddy. Now Lena just felt tired at the reminder of how much every one was risking already.)

The Egypt base in question was a large one, built at the peak of overwatch's glory days, a base meant for blackwatch members, it was built halfway carved into the side of a cliff, practically surrounded by dunes, and shielded from both sight and assault by a hard light reflective shield that was reinforced by thick walls the stretched in a half moon around the exposed half of base where the hangars, training grounds, drill yards and docking platforms for incoming ships could be found.

The barrier around the whole exposed side of the base kept them safe, not only from the naked eye and surveillance, but from sandstorms, bullets, bombs and more.

As such, leaving the barrier, especially alone, was greatly discouraged.

Greatly. Discouraged.

Which is why Lena absolutely wasn't sneaking out the gate on her own to mess around in the dunes and soak up the sun before it sunk beneath the horizon and left the moon to freeze the desert over cold enough to frost.

Nope. Absolutely not.

...Not exactly.

That is to say she wasn't...sneaking. Just moving quietly...with the intent of not getting caught.

...yes...that.

And besides, it was fine. she was fine. Lena still had half a water bottle left at hand and didn't plan on going that far anyways.

(In the back of her mind Lena noted that if anything happened to her out here it would hardly be a tragedy. She was practically useless these days anyways.)

Once she slipped out the barrier she was off like a shot. The sand dunes were tall and fun to slide down and it burned hot against her skin but also light and almost powdery to the touch.

Lena raced to the top of a dune and braced her legs to keep from falling as she slid down, laughing all the while, wiping some sweat off of her brow and tugging off the white cotton head covering Angela had given her to protect from the sun's rays.

What use was it anyways, when she wanted nothing more than for the sun to scorch her brow in the first place? Sun burns stung, but in a way the pain was more than welcome. It was...grounding. Something she could wake up to tomorrow and feel instantly and be reminded just how far away she was from The Grey.

Actually, Lena took a sip from her nearly empty water bottle and squinted up at the blinding orb in the sky and noticed that it was actually starting to drift towards the horizon, preparing to dip down and let the moon have her go at lighting the sky.

It was still fairly hot outside though. Blazing, actually.

Lena had craved the heat but after five years without she was lacking the tan that had protected her from the harsher effects of the sun. Hell even her freckles were nearly faded!

Lena wiped the sweat off of her brow and pushed her damp brown locks out of her face.

Perhaps she should have put such a physically demanding excursion off a few weeks. For all that she loved the sun, five years in london had done a number on her tolerance to the heat.

Ugh, bloody hell, there it was again, fucking London. Even now, miles and miles away the damn place kept coming up. It trailed after her like a ghost and she was more than ready to leave the damn place and all its memories behind for good.

Lena scowled and trecked forcefully up the next dune. Something a little like nausea was clawing its way up her throat. She gulped down the last of her water in an attempt to quell the sensation.

Not to mention she could feel exhaustion beginning to creep up on her. God was she tired of feeling tired She was always falling alseep and she was just about done with it!

If her months spent caught in the slipstream taught her anything it was that time was far to valuable to be wasted on sleeping. Her bodies betrayal was all the more frustrating when combined with the anxiety all the wasted hours were giving her and she could feel a well of messy, black emotions knotting up in her chest at the thought.

The slide down the next dune didn't feel half as satisfying as any of the others.

A sudden onslaught of dizziness attacked her without warning.

Lena gasped and blinked blearily and stumbled back down the dune she'd been trying to climb. The nausea increased as she hit the sand.

Ooooh shit was she dehydrated. Angela was gonna be so mad at her!

"LENA ELIZABETH OXTON!!"

Lena blinked blearily at the figure on the horizon. Speak of the devil. Angela zeigler was marching towards her far better than anyone had the right to march in sand with a protective shawl wrapped around her head and a medbag strapped to her shoulder.

Also she looked angry.

veeeery angry.

Actually, lena squinted at the steadily approaching figure, maybe a better description would be downright piss-oh shit!

Lena scrambled away at the last second upon realizing that her currently very dangerous best friend was a LOT closer that she had anticipated only to stumble and fall face first in the sand. Again.

"Oh no you don't!" Angela let her medbag slide off her shoulder onto the sand and pulled lena back towards her by the waist.

"We've been looking for you for hours!" Angela sat down on her knees and manhandled Lena into laying down on her back with her torso in her lap. Lena only struggled for a few moments before going still and stiff, eyes squeezed shut, bracing herself for whatever punishment Angela chose to inflict for stressing her out.

Instead a gentle hand tugged her shawl off of her head and carded softly once through her sweaty locks befor coming to rest on her forhead.

Lena opened her eyes cautiously and found Angela leaning over her, staring intently with her brows furrowed.

Angela swallowed the lump in her throat at the sight of Lena's red, sunburnt face and the large bruise blooming on her jaw. She was no stranger to injuries, and Lena had always been one of her more frequent patients, but this thin, pale version of her best friend was far less hardy and resilient than the perky, hyperactive Tracer of days past was gone and Angela was reminded not for the first time since their return to overwatch that if anything (any one) happed to Lena in this state she could very well crumple like a dried up leaf.

Angela heaved a breath and rubbed gentle half moons over Lena's flushed cheeks with her thumbs.

"We looked for you on base for hours!" When she spoke her voice was low and dangerous as her frustration at the pilot's stubbornness returned to her.

Lena flinched and breathed a harsh breath through her nose.

"M'sorry, Ange." Her throat burned. She hadn't been out on her own for long but she had only taken one water bottle with her and she was seriously dehydrated.

Angela only huffed and twisted around to reach her medbag. She dragged it over to her side and pulled out a water bottle. Tugging Lena up into a sitting position she uncapped the bottle for her and handed it over.

"Small sips." The doctor warned when Lena immediately began to guzzle it down. It was Lena's turn to huff but she complied nonetheless.

"We'll get you some aloe vera once we're back at base but for now water is the most important thing. Do you have any other injuries?"

"What?" Lena stared dumbly at Angela until she stared pointedly at the large bruise on her jaw, which throbbed at the attention.

"Oh, um, No. I'm fine luv."

Angela gave her a look that said she didn't believe a word that came out of the pilot's mouth and that she would be on the receiving end of a very thorough check up once they got back to base.

With a long suffering sigh, Angela picked herself up off of the sand and pulled Lena up with her, keeping her hold on the younger pilot firm, but gentle as she threatened to stumble and fall back down.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Ana and Zarya were waiting at the barrier when they finally reached base and by then Lena felt as though every muscle in her body was aching. white hot iron bands constricted around her limbs and burned her lungs with each step she took and each breath tasted like copper at the bacl of her throat.

The first ten minutes of the treck had seen Lena doing her best to through the dunes on her own at Angela's side, however by the time they reached the gates she was leaning heavily on the field medic's side, taking breaks every now and then to take slow but generous sips of water to keep the dizziness at bay.

Christ had she really wandered so far from the base?!

(stupid, stupid Lena. of course she did. Wasn't being back here, in the sun with family enough? why did she always want more than what she had?)

Zarya plucked Lena from Angela's arms without a word and a quick glance at the other's faces told her that the last thing she needed to worry about was being manhandled by tall russians.

Ana didn't even look mad. She just had a sad look in her eye that said she knew far more about what was going on in her head than Lena was sure she wanted anyone to know.

Zarya didn't look too upset, thank god. Though she said nothing, a tiny, sad smile quirked up on her face.

Lena knew she was worrying people. She really did. But she needed to get better! She was sick of being so weak!

Right now, she only a little more physically fit than the average person and she wasn't gaining strength fast enough. It was driving her insane and she knew these things took time, that her muscles were slowly being torn and knitting back together into something stronger, but it was taking too much time, time Lena didn't even know if she had, and she needed to back to her old self yesterday.

(needed to run faster punch harder dodge quicker needed to be faster faster faster so she could finally outrun the wrongness lingering in the back of her mind and in the twitch of her hands and the edges on her sight)

Lena slept on the way to the medbay and yhis time there were no hushed voices.

Lena had run off, gotten herself into trouble again, and had to be picked up.

After all this time, what was there to say?

So there was silence.

And though Lena slept, she didn't rest.

Ssssssssssssssssssssss

Lena Oxton, ex RAF pilot, loyal overwatch soldier and mechanic, was certain now, that if there was any god to be spoken of, they had most certainly abandoned this timeline.

Every limb ached. Her skin was burnt and blistered and feverish despite the mountain of ice packes she had stuffed into and on the couch where she lay draped in a corner of the war room.

"Hold still."

Lena hissed as angela slathered another layer of aloe vera onto her back. Small noises of muffled laughter and ( occasional) sympathy could be heard from hana, who watched the whole scene with a hint of amusement. cheeky brat that she was didn't even step so much as a toe outside the compound and thus was feeling right as rain and more than eager to snigger in the face of Lena's latest stunt.

Angela pursed her lips and furrowed her brow at the the sight of the physical marks on Lena's body that told more than any of her internal scans had done.

Lena was tempted to crack a joke to diffuse the tension rolling off of her friend in waves, but the bright purple bruise that dominated her jaw made speaking quite the chore

A particularly hard press against one of Lena's sore spots made her let out another his and she resigned herself to this cruel and unusual punishment for the rest of the day.

There just wasn't any winning for her, was there?

 **Sssssssssssssssss**

 **Oof guys so school literally just got out for Summer three hours ago. I went home, took the greatest nap of my life, and finally got around to finishing this chapter! I hope you all like it!**

 **I know that my updating schedule is unreliable at best but I hope that the quality of my stories makes it worth it.**

 **I'm doing all I can to improve my writing abilities as I go along and I hope that my improvement will show as I continue to make better and better quality stories.**

 **Please please pleeeaase leave comments and tips and I WILL read them. I always check them every month or so.**

 **-Blue**


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